Thank You

Thank you Dr. Hampshire and all of my colleagues,this course has been very informative and interesting. I think we all are thinking about communication in a whole new way. To everyone that is not moving on to Teaching Adults, it has been a pleasure working with you. To those moving on to Teaching Adults, I hope to see you soon!

Best of luck to everyone

Adjourning

In high-performance groups, you will probably have the hardest time leaving because these are the groups in which strong relationships and bonds are formed. Trust has been built and established. In these groups, you feel like a valued part of the team and will take pride in the work and accomplishments of the team. You would probably feel sad to leave this group. You will miss the time spent with the members of the group.

Groups with the clearest established norms are probably very hard to leave because in this stage you are really a well oiled machine. It has begun to feel very comfortable and there is a true group identity. Leaving this group may be difficult as you will feel a loss of that group and miss it.

It was very hard to leave my Leadership Training Group developed at the preschool where I work now. We met as a group once a month for two years. Everyone in the group bonded and became friends. We worked together so well as a group, it was hard to believe that after the two years were up, the group would be disbanded and this group of employees would never function in this capacity ever again.

When my children were small, I worked in a group of volunteer moms that met and organized to form a team that would go into the kindergarten classrooms for an enrichment science class. We were not the first group to ever participate in this program but the group of women that participated with lasted for one year with the same women. This group was very hard to leave. We became very close and worked extremely well together. Each member of the group loved the experience. We all worked really hard to keep the program running smoothly while our children were in Kindergarten.

There were rituals attached to the first group. We all went out for a closing lunch together and were all presented with a certificate of completion. At this lunch we were able to discuss the program. We talked about what went well, not so well and we were given the opportunity to have input on the direction of the group for the next group to partake in the program.

There was only one ritual in the second group. As a group, we met with the incoming moms to pass the torch. We had the opportunity to share our experiences with the new moms. We told them what went well and what future improvement could be made. As my family just moved to Orlando, it was a great opportunity to meet moms in my child’s grade. It gave me the opportunity to participate in an area that was a real strength of mine. I loved going into the classrooms to work with children and do science. The best part of the experience was making new friends for my kindergartener and me.

I have met wonderful women in my experience at Walden. We have had the opportunity to share insights, share experiences and build on each other’s knowledge. I have enjoyed having the opportunity to work with a community of people with the same passion for early childhood education. I hope to keep in touch with colleagues through email and blog posts. With each passing course, I look forward to the student lounge introductions to see familiar names. I know that some of us will be separated as we enter the focus part of our degree. One thing that I have done is to keep the blog links of previous classmates. I continue to read their blogs and will continue to comment on them.

Adjourning gives closure to a group experience. It allows for the opportunity to see what went well and what can be improved upon for the next time. Through termination rituals it allows members of a group to get together one last time. It is the culmination of good teamwork.

Disagreements and Conflicts

As the school year is just about to begin and camp is about to end, there are a lot of decisions to be made about the upcoming school year. Seemingly simple decisions and ideas about our classroom and how it will look for our new group of children. My teaching partner and I have had a few disagreements about room arrangement and classroom decorating. These appear to be very minor disagreements but they are just disagreements right now that we do not want to fester, become conflict and hurt our communication and eventually our working relationship.

There are many new strategies in which I am employing to help defuse the situation and help my partner and I communicate more efficiently in order to come up with solutions that will meet both of our needs and allow us to both feel good about the situation and each other.

Compromising is a great strategy for us as we find “middle ground” between our two opposing positions. We can both agree to give up a little bit of what we want to order to come to an understanding (O'Hair, Wiemann, Mullin, & Teven, 2015). 

We could also use a collaborative style. If I pick something out that I want for our room and my assistant says that she does not like it. I see her choice and do not like it, we can collaborate and keep looking until we find something that we both can live with and something that we mutually agree on together (O'Hair, Wiemann, Mullin, & Teven, 2015). 

The 3r’s will help us to resolve our conflict. The three principles are respect, response and relationship. My assistant and I must show mutual respect for each other as we work with each other every day. We will have a stronger relationship, if we are able to communicate. Room arrangement and decorating are small issues in the larger picture but if we cannot communicate to resolve these issues it will reveal much larger issues and breakdowns in communication. We need to work as a team for our children, colleagues and families. We need to be responsive to each other. We must each be aware of our verbal and nonverbal cues. When communicating we must be mindful and in the moment. Lastly, it always comes down to a good relationship. If we have a strong relationship we will be much more successful. If we are able to model a healthy relationship, it will benefit our entire class.  

I did not have an opportunity to speak this week with any colleagues about effective communication strategies but I did share this assignment with my husband who is a Manager of Engineering. He had many insights on conflict resolution and communication that he uses with his employees and colleagues. Here are some of his strategies:

·         Learn to listen

·         Not talk over and interrupt

·         Understand fully where they are coming from and their thought process

·         Allow them to express their ideas

·         Let them develop their ideas and ask questions

·         Treat with respect

·         Understand their perspective

·         Understand my perspective

·         Their way of thinking may not have been thoroughly thought out, give my insights on the missing pieces

We have had many interesting conversations about effective communication over the past five weeks. These new skills that we are all learning and practicing will benefit us both professionally and personally.

Reference

O'Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J.  (2015). Real communication (3rd. ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.   

Evaluating Communication

The one thing that surprised me the most was the assessment done by my supervisor at work. She scored my communication anxiety inventory lower than my husband and me. My husband and I scored it fairly closely. I guess this means that my anxiety is hidden and I present myself better than I thought I did. My self-esteem and self concept do not exactly match how someone else sees me in my professional life. She does not know me on a personal level. She knows how I interact with children, parents, colleagues, her and the administration of the school. She also sees how I participate in staff meetings. In some of these cases, I do feel a bit of anxiety but I guess that she sees that I am well informed, articulate and confident. My self-concept is not quite as strong in my own head. In some cases, I feel as if my non verbal cues and body language give me away. I guess in her eyes, I present myself well in all interactions. I feel some self confidence boost.

This week I learned that the way we view ourselves may not always be how others view us. I learned that my behavior fits the situation that I am in at a given moment in time and in a particular context. In the aggressiveness scale, I rated myself the lowest of my husband and supervisor. My supervisor and husband rated me ten points higher. I rated myself low and they each rated me moderate. While moderate is still acceptable, I see that it is an area that I might want to look at for improvement and a goal. Our text was very interesting this week. I learned that how we communicate has a lot more to do with how we feel about ourselves than I ever realized. How we feel in any given situation will dictate how we communicate. Knowing ourselves will help us both professionally and personally.

I also learned that first impressions are very powerful. We cannot be too quick to judge a person just on an initial encounter. We come into every situation with a set of schemas. We have to engage in conversation, look for verbal and nonverbal cues, ask questions and be an effective listener. That will help us to know a person. This information will help everyone in their personal life and professional life as we are coming in contact everyday with children, families, colleagues, potential friends and others in the early childhood field. We are learning that we must truly learn and understand the people we communicate with. Competent communication will help us to be successful in all areas of our lives.

I learned through these assessments that our comfort level, our listening style and our verbal aggressiveness all contribute to being an effective communicator. Improving our skills in these areas will help us both in our professional and personal life. We will be able to make our points clearly, listen effectively and monitor our behavior while maintaining respect and consideration for other people and their points of view.

Cultural Diversity and Communication

I think you have to talk differently to different groups of people. There are ways to bridge the gap and there are strategies to improve interpersonal relationships. Cultural differences can interfere with the development of positive relationships (Beebe, Beebe &Redmond, 2011). I work with many different people every day. We are all women. We are different races, ethnicities, religions, languages and different ages. I also work with families that speak different languages and come from different home cultures.

 When I am communicating with the parents of the children in my classroom, I am professional and show empathy. When I am communicating with families that speak other languages/from other cultures, I speak slowly. I watch my verbal, my nonverbal cues and I watch theirs. When I speak with people that are individually different than me, I look for common ground. I keep the conversation to what we have in common. I pay attention to the relationship that I have with the person that I am talking to, the situation and the context of our communication.  I try to adapt my behaviors and speech to the person that I am talking to.

There are three strategies that I use in order to communicate more effectively. First, I will gain knowledge by seeking information about the person and/or culture. I must ask questions and listen effectively. If the person is from a completely different culture, I must try to understand the nuances of their culture. I like the idea of creating a third culture. A brand new culture created between me and my communication partner consisting of shared meanings and common ground (Beebe, Beebe &Redmond, 2011).

Second, I must have motivation to be other-oriented. I should not ignore our differences. I must not think that my culture and my perspective is the only right perspective. I do not let my own experiences cloud my perception of another’s reality. I would avoid cultural myopia. My reality is not everyone’s reality (Beebe, Beebe &Redmond, 2011). I try to remember the Platinum Rule. I treat others that I am speaking with respect and treat them as they want to be treated (O’hair, Wiemann, Mullin &Teven, 2015).  

Third, I must continue to develop skill in the conversation. I must learn in the moment of interaction. I should be able to adjust my behavior to meet the needs of the person that I am having a conversation with. This means being able to read verbal and nonverbal cues. I should be able to be creative and flexible. I must be empathetic and try to figure out how the person that I am speaking with is feeling (Beebe, Beebe &Redmond, 2011).

If I can employ these strategies, I would hope to be a more effective and competent communicator.

Reference

Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon. Chapter 4, "Interpersonal Communication and Diversity: Adapting to Others" (pp. 85–114)

O'Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J.  (2015). Real communication (3rd. ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin's. Chapter 2, "Perceiving the Self and Others" (pp. 41-45)

Observing Communication

I watched an episode of Modern Family without and then with the sound. I see many relationships in the episode based on what I see without hearing the words. The show opens up and there are two people sitting on a sofa. They are talking into the camera but I do not know who they are talking to. They appear to be a married couple as I see they are in a home. They look at each other occasionally and smile. Based on their behavior they look like a loving, married couple.

The next scene I see the same couple with three teenagers. They are in the kitchen. I assume that these are their children. They are all engaged in conversation. There is eye contact and very quick conversations between all of the characters. Based on what I see, they look like a typical family in heated conversations. I see a very familiar place for a family to gather. They are in the kitchen. Based on what I see, the nonverbal communication is that of a family going about their normal morning routines.

The next scene, I see two men. They are in a kitchen. One man is wearing a bathrobe and the other man is in a suit. The man in the suit is pouring coffee. They are in conversation. The man in the suit appeared to be going to work while the other man appeared to be staying at home. I assumed this because he was not dressed. There is eye contact. In walks a small child, a little girl from another room. This is probably a family. As the child is not Caucasian child, I assume she is their adopted daughter. They appear to be partners in a same sex couple. In the next scene, I see the same camera shoot as the last couple. They are sitting next to each other and looking into the camera. I do not know who they are talking to at this moment. They occasionally look at each other and smile. At one point, the man on the left touches the arm of the man on the right. There appears to be a strong connection between the two men.

The next scene shows the same man from the kitchen walking with one of the teenagers onto a school campus. They are having a conversation. The man tries to hug the boy and the boy pulls away. The man looks very sad and confused by the action of the son. Based on what I see, the father is having a hard time separating from his son.

A woman and teenage boy walk onto the same school campus. They are walking close together and having a conversation. The woman tries to hug the teenager and he pulls away. I assume that this is mother and son. Based on what I see, the mom is having a hard time separating from her son.

After the children leave, the mom and dad come together, say hello and leave the campus together. From their nonverbal communication, I can tell that they already know each other. This was not a first time meeting.

The next scene is the same woman from the kitchen scene. She walks into an office. There is an older gentleman behind the desk. She walks in and is wearing a suit and carrying a brief case. She puts down a plate of cookies and sits down on the opposite side of the desk. My assumption is that he is the boss and she is his employee. Based on what I see, this is a boss and employee and she is trying to win him over with cookies. He is clearly the one with the control in this scene.

The next scene is the same lady from the previous scene. She walks into what looks like a break room. I see many employees. Some are standing by a water cooler. Some are sitting at a table. All people are in conversation. They appear to be speaking pleasantly with each other. The conversations appear relaxed. When the lady walks in, she begins to talk. It appears that she is trying to become friendly. The expressions on the faces of the employees begin to change. I see crossed arms, I see scowls and I see eyes rolling. There is clearly a shift in the mood of the room. I do not know why this has happened. I do not know the nature of the employee’s relationship with this woman. Based on the non-verbal communication in this scene, the employee’s are clearly not happen with this employee. She may be a new boss. They may have had previous experience with her. It really appears as if they do not like her. She is not fitting into this group. She is smiling and doing most of the talking but the actions of the other employees says a lot.

When I watched the episode with sound, I realized that some of the assumptions that I made about the characters and the plot based on the ways in which I interpreted the communication were correct. The first two characters were husband and wife. The next scene introduced the family in their kitchen as they were communicating and listening to each other. Based on what I saw and heard they were a family that was open with each other and had lively conversation. From these initial conversations, I was able to learn the attributes and about the current lives of each of these characters.

The next family that I observed was the two men and little girl in their kitchen. Once again my assumption about this group was correct. They were a same sex couple with an adopted daughter. The one man that was not dressed was going to work as a substitute teacher. Their conversation was about who was going to take the girl to her first day of school. I could not tell any of that from the nonverbal communication.

The scene with the man and his son and the mom and her son where right on track. Each child was starting their first day of high school. Each boy feeling embarrassed to have their parents hold them and give them each hugs.

The man and woman leaving school together went for coffee to commiserate with each other about their sadness because their children are growing up. I assumed that these two people knew each other before this meeting at the school and they have some sort of relationship. I still do not know what their relationship is at this point. Are they just friends or are they a couple? I already know that this man is married to someone else. Their body language in the restaurant shows comfort and familiarity with each other.

I now know that the boss and employee are father and daughter. This was her first day at his closet company. She was to be the new manager. The scene in the break room now makes sense as these employees see the boss’s daughter coming in to manage them and they are most definitely not happy about it. I could tell that the employee’s were upset but I did not know why.

If I knew the show well, I would know that the two people in the coffee shop are actually related by marriage. The woman is married to the boss in the closet company. The man is married to the daughter. That makes them mother and son-in-law. She is young and beautiful. She is much younger than her husband.

I could see that there is a lot to communication. Both verbal and nonverbal communication is important. Watching a television show with the sound off was an enlightening experience. I was only able to make assumptions based on what I saw. I was only privy to nonverbal communication and appearances. I had many new insights when I was able to listen to the conversations to learn about characters and plot. I also learned that having prior knowledge of a situation allows for greater understanding. With prior knowledge, attention to nonverbal clues and attention to verbal clues you will better be able to understand any situation. An “aha” moment for me was to realize that I may not have any prior information about a situation that I am in and I need to pay close attention to my nonverbal behavior and communication and the nonverbal and verbal communication of those I am in communication with at any moment. 

Examples of Competent Communication

When I think of a competent communicator, I think of my supervisor, Marcy. She just retired but I worked for her for ten years. She was such an effective communicator. She knew just how to communicate with children, staff, colleagues and parents. She listened to what was being communicated to her. She thought before she responded and always knew her audience. Her body language conveyed that she was listening. She maintained eye contact. When talking with children she would acknowledge what they said at times by repeating it back. Her staff knew that her door was always open and that she would listen to us. If we had a problem, she was always there to help problem solve. She taught me that what I have to say is important. She continually pushed me in the right direction as communicating with parents was hard for me. She was always there to encourage. She helped me to see that I could accomplish anything, including obtaining a Master’s Degree.

           

I would and do model her communication behavior. When Marcy communicated with children, parents and staff, she gave them her undivided attention. She really listened. She knew exactly who she was talking to and what she needed to do to meet their needs. The children knew that she loved and respected them. The parents knew that she was there to help in any way that she could and the teachers and staff knew that she cared about them and wanted what was best for them. I will miss her every day. Marcy taught me that good communication is important in our field. In order to maintain excellence and the well-being of everyone, good communication is vital. I try to communicate effectively with children, colleagues and families. I am so excited to be taking this course as I am sure that there is so much more to learn about good communication. I hope that what I learn will help me achieve my goals in the early childhood field.